I just want my peanut butter and black vinyl catsuit…

Good Morning all you beautiful people!! *said at 2 o’clock in the afternoon*

*melty face emoji*

Dude, whatever. I LOOOOOOVE …Daylight Savings? Is this Daylight Savings or Standard Time? I feel like this one is Daylight Savings because we’re prolonging the daylight. Holding onto the daylight. Fighting against the night like Van Helsing racing toward Dracula’s castle…

Yes, I just consulted my calendar. This is Daylight Savings. So I f’n LOVE Daylight Savings. Deep into the Florida summers, sunset is well after 8:30 pm.

BUT. Being the night owl that I am, my late rising turns even LATER come the beginning of March. Dude, two days ago, I was waking up at NOON. There is physics beyond my control at play here…

So I randomly woke up around 7 am this morning and had the great idea to do my Whole Foods Amazon delivery order right then so I would have it waiting for me when I got up. I NEVER do this. I always have it delivered in the afternoon so I can oversee everything: I’m near my phone in case an item is out of stock, I can stand here in a black vinyl military outfit and command the delivery drivers to place the bags in the appropriate location…

But I was thinking wouldn’t it be rad to just have everything waiting for me when I got up! Well, no. No, it would NOT be rad. I don’t wanna give away the ending here, but it would NOT be rad.

Okay, so this story DOES have a happy ending, I’m getting my replacement delivery in about an hour… But HALF of my order was missing!!


I rolled over sleepily around 1 pm (see aforementioned physics of Daylight Savings Time), stretched luxuriously, and eagerly checked my phone for the delivery notification. Imagine my shock and horror, the excitement and freedom of Spring Break Vibes ripped mercilessly away from me, as I attempted to comprehend the message that was waiting for me:

Unfortunately, your order has been partially delivered. Some of the items were either refused upon delivery or were undeliverable.


So I don’t know what the fuck happened. My peanut butter was missing – MY PEANUT BUTTER!!!! And also MY JALAPENOS…

*kill me now*

Both of which are in glass bottles so I’m assuming they befell some sort of accident on the way here that also took down everything else that was in the bag with them.

So I called Amazon and the guy I talked to, Brandon, and I immediately bonded over our obsessive love of peanut butter and he made a replacement order for me.

So I have no idea what the fuck went down there but I’m just stoked that my new order is already packed and ready and I have time to slip into my catsuit before this delivery arrives.

One of the things I got was a gallon of distilled water so I can start SCREENPRINTING!!! OMG SO EXCITED over this!!! It says you’ve gotta use distilled water to mix in with the diazo for coating the screens with emulsion because it says the water has to be totally pure or it will…

Jesus fucking Christ. EDDY is bringing my replacement order. EDDY in all capitals. That’s what it says in the text I just got. Imagining Eddy from Ed, Edd & Eddy rolling up with his wallet chain, Affliction t-shirt and stereo blaring out of his late 90s Camaro…

So anyway, it says it can mess up the emulsion if the water isn’t distilled and free from all minerals and stuff like that. So I’m SUPER stoked to start screenprinting, I’ve already got a bunch of designs printed out on the transfer films and I’m gonna clean and degrease the screens this afternoon! And I’m also working on a design to do with the heat press, I’m still drawing that one and it’s gonna be on tank tops and toob tops for the ladies and also gonna do guys tees, and I already have the shoot in mind to do for them!!

And I’m gonna bake a cake later, too!! So excited!! It’s a gluten free vanilla cake mix and I’m gonna do apricot jam on top!! And probably eat some plain and then also with PEANUT BUTTER, I think!!!

Okay, I’m gonna go get into all sorts of trouble. I love you guys so much and hope you’re all having an amazing week so far!!!


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