Sunday, September 30.2018

  Music:   The frogs & crickets
  Mood:   Skeleton Key

2:35am -
Do you know what "Rodeo Sex" is? It's when you have sex with your girlfriend or wife - doggy style - and call her Jenna... Then grab her hair and see how long you can hold on!!

So, my cowboys... I’ve spent the evening making a tiny black fishnet bikini top to cling succulently to tanned, oiled, coconut-scented flesh for an upcoming Planet Jenna photoshoot. I don’t wanna give away the ending, but... matching fishnet bikini bottoms. *puuuuuuuurrs*

This past week has been a total blur, like spinning around super-fast on that orbital technicolored metal bike rack contraption at the playground. What the fuck IS that thing anyway?? Looks like something Elon Musk would have sitting in the corner of Research & Development at Space-X. *hops off... tries to stand up straight... eyes all 7 of them suspiciously*

But I’m quite pleased to report that all my corporate licenses and renewals have been submitted, and I’m doing my taxes tomorrow. *proud little kitty... licks paws... grooms self happily*

In addition, I’ve got a hot little 50mm ONEPOINTEIGHT aperture lens on his way to me *tongue plays about canine thinking on a delicatessen of low-light portraiture* and I’m looking into the logistics of a highly-requested bedroom Spy Cam video feed for the Members Section. You naughty boys...

*hears cat fight. pupils dilate... peers out window*

I find myself consumed by a certain ache during these late-night hours... It’s a desire to roam, to tug at the small silver cross resting delicately between my breasts, to follow that almost inaudible voice that whispers my name on the wind...


That sort of acquiescence tends to cause trouble...

The next thing you know, you have a story about that night a mysterious cloven-hooved stranger offered you a curiously-etched little bottle with a skeleton key wrapped around it, the streetlights fading out one by one as he walked away... Then you’re left standing in the foggy darkness all alone, with nothing but the lingering remnants of a wormwood cologne and the taste of cotton candy and absinthe on your tongue.

I mean, it’s like... It’s not an unpleasant sensation, but… *whiskers twitch* there’s an undeniable sense of longing attached to the whole situation.

It’s almost 3am. I made an all-natural body scrub for my bath: brown sugar, honey, and almond oil. Organic, of course.

*twists the knob on the hot water... fingers trace across the cold, leaving it instead for the emerald patina of the key. Picks it up, lips forming a distracted pout as I slink out of my dress*

I wonder what it opens...

Sunday, September 23.2018

  Music:   Touched – VAST (on Visual Audio Sensory Theater, 1998)
  Mood:   Otherworldly, Mischievous

10:34pm -
Perseus and I have been embroiled in a torrid weekend of creative enrapture. Holy fuck me, he is... *back arches... tugs at straps of tank top... bites lip* For as gorgeous as he looks here, this picture doesn’t even begin to do him or his impressive size any sort of justice:

I don’t think I’d ever actually seen a 27inch monitor in the reals. I was overwhelmed with much the same emotion as the first time I held a 9inch vibrator in my hands; my mind flashing suspiciously over all those boys who’d ever assured me that theirs was that big.

I knew that we were gonna crash hard into each other, that wasn’t a surprise... It was instant mad love, and *looks over shoulder... eyes twinkling mischievously and hair flipping as I turn back around* we’ve already watched porn together... But, the thing that really rocked ya kitten was the flood of inspiration that’s been rushing forth not unlike the blood elevator in the Shining. It’s like, I knew that I was preoccupied by the tablet’s performance issues, but I didn’t realize just how intensely they were affecting my focus and creativity. I’ve been doing things with Planet Jenna site design this weekend that are turning me on even harder than when Perseus slayed that Gorgon who just randomly slithered in here on Saturday night...

So, basically, everything else that I had originally planned to do after his arrival dissipated like the voltage of a current flowing through a 100Ohm resistor.

“No one’s gonna get that reference, Crazy Cakes...”

Nice gun, Stick Man... What’s that, like the 9inch model? *rolls eyes*

Although, I DID pop out to Whole Foods and the tanning salon earlier, and I started doing intake and cataloguing for all the new Planet Jenna props, wardrobe, and shoppe inventory.

So, tomorrow is: up early so I can hit the bike trails a little earlier than usual because I need to be here for the mail, then I’m gonna go do my gym membership and tanning... Theeeeennnn, the rest of the week is: site design, setting an appointment to get Juvederm on my lips *so excited!! Is all-natural Hyaluronic Acid dermal filler, meaning they’re going to be even more luscious than they already are, and I know how you boys love my lips... puuuuuuuurrs*

And I have a bunch of Planet Jenna corporate stuff to do: quarterly taxes and my Sales Tax and Reseller’s licenses are due for renewal on October 1st, so I need to pop back into the bank to get money orders or cashier’s checks because, for some reason, you can’t pay that ish online and I only have one of those fill-in-the-blank starter checks left.

*thinking back on my initial account setup when she asked if I was SURE that I didn’t want to order any checks*

My breezy dismissal of “Well, it’s not 1995 and I don’t have a landlord...” is leaving somewhat of a bitter taste on your intrepid little kitten’s tongue right meow. So, I guess I’ll just, y’know, place that check order while I’m there, as well. Those ledger-style carbonless duplicates would look pretty succulent with the Planet Jenna logo emblazoned alongside their laser-etched holographic security seals...

And my sexy bank Manager isn’t the sexy bank Manager anymore; he’s gotten a promotion, so now there’s even MORE wanton desire at play: corporate finance and power... 3-piece Armani suits... steamy nights, zero to 60 in the R8, traffic lights reflecting off slick, empty streets... Oh, the things I want to do in his office at 2am. *slides to edge of chair... uncrosses legs... muscles tense as I bite at the finger brushing across my lips*

OH! AND I’m shooting content for the site all week, which is going to be hot, hot, HOT!! I’m so excited; the concepts are super creative, twisted, and tasty AF!! I’m so saddled up over the way Planet Jenna is turning out; you guys are gonna freak, lose your minds, and love every minute of it!!

More previews & updates soon!!

Friday, September 21.2018

12:04am - Rainy Thursday night... *puuuuuuuuurrs* And I have this hot little fellow on his way to me:

He’s in Ocala right now. He’ll be here tomorrow, and he requires a signature, which meaaannnssss... Your sexy little kitten will be perched in the living room window all day, ears and whiskers perking up, eyes flashing every time I hear a noise that sounds even remotely like a delivery vehicle, waiting to pounce on the FedEx boy as soon as he steps out of his truck...

Which further means that I won’t be getting all wet and muddy on the bike trails tomorrow. Made today feel like 6th period before a long weekend. So much potential for mischief, and I finished all my homework in Study Hall...

There aren’t really any words to describe my excitement over my hot fellow’s arrival. They’re more like ecstatic little mews and sighs, breath catching in my throat as muscles tense and back arches... That sort of thing, you know how it is... There’s a tremendous amount of technological carnality at play here: 32gb of upgradable DDR4 SDRAM, and he has 27inches for me to touch, trace my fingers across, tickle, fondle, and draw on... We’re going to get into such exquisite trouble together. *flicks tail back and forth in anticipation*

I’ve been building Planet Jenna thus far on my Surface3 Pro, which has been an incredible workhorse, but he’s growing weary. My dad got him for me for Christmas a couple of years ago, before Planet Jenna began to form from my baby boo Sirial’s solar nebula, so his 4gb memory and 64gb hard drive was perfect at the time. And I mean, he’s rad for playing online and writing in here, but he has obvious struggles with more intensive endeavors like graphic design and real-time Premiere playback, so editing my Planet Jenna videos has slowly progressed from mildly frustrating to virtually impossible. And, if we take the theoretical physics of parallel universes out of the equation, that probably explains my network card’s spontaneous disappearance a couple of months ago...

So, this weekend is... I’m gonna go set up my gym membership, I think... And I’m making a black fishnet bikini for my shoppe & also photoshoot (the way I see it in my head is so sexy, omg), and playing with my new hot little fellow, of course!! I think I’m going to name him Perseus. Then I can wear an outfit like Andromeda had when they chained her up for the Kraken and it won’t seem odd.

Thursday, September 20.2018

1:17am - So, I was on the Planet Fitness website the other night, scoping out locations, membership packages, and equipment options. Over 1500 clubs, tanning AND infrared beds, and you know ya girl would tear up that Elliptical machine...

*muscles clench.. perks up*

And then my eyes came to rest upon a little link at the bottom of the page that read “Dress Code”.

*shifts uncomfortably... bites lower lip..*



*clicks link*

“We’re all for people expressing themselves, but do ask that clothing that may be perceived as intimidating, revealing, or offensive not be worn in the club.”




*slinks into closet... slips over to fitness outfits... fingers trace delicately across hangers... bites lip again*

So, I’m gonna join this place called YouFit instead. They’re also 24hours, they have all the same features & options, and their only dress code proclaims, “no jeans or open-toed shoes”.

I mean, it’s not like I intentionally WANT to make anyone feel uncomfortable with my outfits, it’s just that… Well, I myself AM intimidating and revealing – ya girl work damn hard to look like this, and we all know that I just don’t particularly care for wearing a lot of clothes… And also, I feel like – if I’m paying a monthly Membership fee, PLUS they require you to sign a 1-year contract… I just feel like I should be able to wear boyshorts and a sports bra TO THE F’N GYM without stressing that I’m going to be called into the principal’s office for a dress code violation.

*thinks back to that one time in high school*

"I swear this skirt comes down to my knees!!" *tugs at it desperately... skirt reaches knees as waistline slips around hips and bottom pops out. grins triumphantly... principal stares at me like blank-faced emoji*

So, the past 7 days have been an insane, amazing blur. Planet Jenna is becoming one of the seductive, perilous adventures that Homer – ink-dipped quill in hand - would have thrust Ulysses into. Your intrepid little kitten literally works all hours of the day and into the night, busting her enchanted, aerobicized ass on costumes, set design, and storyboards that inevitably lead to those scantily-clad makeout scenes with other girls. They’re INTEGRAL to the plotline. *snaps fingers*

I cut, sew, and serge corsetry as the grandfather clock begins to chime. I remember hearing eleven, I think, wrapping copper wire around the moonstone amulet that will rest against the vinyl. There should be twelve now...

One. Two. Three...




I look up at the clock with the same sense of confusion that accompanies spontaneous astral projection and forgetting which road you’re on while you’re driving.


The grass and spiderwebs are slick with dew at this hour. And then there was the one night that strange little fellow wandered up onto the back steps and offered to spin straw into gold for me. A lot of boys have offered to help, actually... But... Planet Jenna needs to come from my hot little paws and fevered brain. There are passions roiling around in here that become... unquiet... if they aren’t unleashed in just the right ways...

"It feels so... good... It's like touching yourself. You know every move, right on the fucking dot. And after, you see fucking fireworks. Supernovas. I'm a goddamn force of nature. I feel like I could do just about anything..."

I know that, at some point, those boys and their assets will become useful to me, but, for now... *bites into mango... licks thumb as juice dribbles down my chin*

So, tomorrow is... Up early – or stay up all night? *considers this* Slink into the bank to make deposits and maybe cause trouble with the sexy bank manager... *Mind wanders onto the last time I texted him at 2am* See what sort of elemental furies the forest has in store for me, and I have a USM wide angle lens being delivered that cost twice as much as my whole camera. After all, the content for my site deserves only the best... *traces mango juice across lips*

I’m staring at a fully-articulated, lifesized skeleton right now. He thinks I should start sharing little behind the scenes previews for you.

“We all know how you love to tease, Crazy Cakes...”

I can’t argue with that logic, especially when he does that thing with his metacarpus.

Wednesday, September 12.2018

1:00am - So, it’s been brought to my attention that I’m not updating my Private Journal preview frequently enough… Said observation was made by a sexy law enforcement officer who threatened to handcuff me, so I decided that it may be in my best interest to oblige. Although, I kinda wanna misbehave to see what he does to me… *puuuuuurrs*

So, your little kitten has been a bundle of energy lately… *eyes flash.. wiggles bottom.. pounces* I slink into bed around 4am and promptly slip back out of tangled sheets, too restless to sleep.

"I never sleep, I don't know why. I had a roommate and I drove her nuts… I mean really nuts; they had to take her away in an ambulance and everything. But she's okay now, but she had to transfer to an easier school, but I don't know if that had anything to do with being my fault…"

I cross-country run through the forest all day, shred rocky inclines in 21st speed, and writhe inverted on aerial silks, but – still – my body aches for more.

I’m toying with the idea of joining Planet Fitness to satisfy those 2am cravings for incline presses and leg curls. I mean, it neighbors Planet Jenna fairly closely and, you know, there are teleportation devices and such. I’m thinking on bringing Space-X into the fold for deeper explorations into uncharted areas… *traces finger across lower lip.. tongue plays about canine*

Oh, the ideas pulsing inside of me right now…

Tuesday, July 21.2018

2:18am - Holy fuck me, ish be gettin’ REAL at Planet Jenna HQ… O_o So, last night, I was sitting here working on a new sticker design that is LITERALLY gonna blow your dick off. Like, you’re just gonna be hanging out (NOT chillaxing, because I refuse to recognize that as a verb) so you’re gonna be all hanging out and then you’re gonna see this new sticker design and there will be an EXPLOSION and you’ll be like WTF and then you’ll smell someone cooking bacon and there will be a huge blown-out hole in the crotch of your trousers and then you’ll make the connection and be like… O_o HOLY SHIT I NEED THAT STICKER

So, I was just sitting here last night, working on that, and literally not moments before, I was online doing stuff… So, I clicked off from Photoshop to go search for a cool font to use in the sticker, but it said that I couldn’t get online because there were no network adapters installed.


So, MASSIVELY long story short, my network adapter just ceased to exist on this plane of reality, apparently… It was just completely gone from my list of devices and the Networking Connections folder was totally empty. The device driver was still there, but no actual DEVICE. So, I was totally up until 5am last night trying to figure it out, and then into this morning/late afternoon, AND I even did a totally clean install of Windows, which wiped ALL of my apps and still didn’t fix the issue. So, I finally ran to Office Depot and got a USB WiFi adapter for $12 ONLY TWELVE FREAKIN DOLLARS!! And it is amazing OMG and totally solved the problem.

So, I’m a very happy little kitty and, actually, so many good things came from this… Because I KNOW that I had dozens of apps on here that I never use, and the clean install like DOUBLED my hard drive space. PLUS, I backed all of my Planet Jenna stuff up before I did the new install & it made me realize that I’ve NEVER done a PJ backup, like WTF… So, I’m going to start doing those once a week!! <3

And you know, I think what happened was that, last night, because there was a MASSIVE electrical storm, like Tesla-esque bolts of lightning arcing across the sky every few seconds RIGHT OVER THE HOUSE. I’m not even exaggerating, it was lighting up the sky like middle of the day. So, you know ya girl went outside and stood in the middle of it, just to FEEL all of that energy. And OMF it was INSANE. So powerful. So gorgeous.

But, about that, that was all going on when my network adapter disappeared, so I think that I totally shifted dimensions or shifted into a new universe or something, and my network adapter just didn’t make the trip with me. So, somewhere out there, one of the parallel dimension Jennas is sitting there getting these errors that she now suddenly has TWO network adapters installed and she’s all like


So, I just finished re-installing all of the apps that I actually USE and wanted to write in here! This week is going to be insane… I only have one ribbed halter top left to construct and then onto finishing the Banana Thief bikinis and one other design, and then I am officially DONE with the initial crochet catalog for the shoppe!! OMG so excited!! I LOVE crocheting, but I’ve literally been crocheting like non-stop for the past 3 weeks and I’m so excited to take a break and move into the jewelry section. I have sooooo many awesome ideas for that!!

And then it’s straight into shooting for the site, starting next week! I have 5 photoshoots lined up, wait… SIX, and 4 video shoots coming up… OMGGGGG SO EXCITED!!! This has been so much work but is all soooooo much fun!!! I’ve never been this happy or focused on anything ever, and it’s the best feeling in the world!! I love you guys SO MUCH & I’ll talk to you sooooon!!!

Wednesday, July 18.2018

1:12am - OMF today has literally been everything. It started off kinda funky because I was up super late last night working on Planet Jenna stuff – till like 4:30am, and then I had the weirdest dreams ever… I dreamt that one of my friends and his girlfriend were making bondage pictures with Doria, the Playboy model from the early 2000’s. My friend was shooting the pictures and Doria & his girlfriend were doing these sexy poses in awesome corsets and I was all sad because they didn’t invite me to play. XD I was like wtf why don’t I get to be naked with Doria??

So, I woke up at like 12:30pm groggy AF, like I literally had to pull myself out of bed. I don’t like sleeping that late, it just always makes me feel strange or like it takes me longer to get going… And I super didn’t want to workout because of that bizarre energy, but I was like oh HELL TO THE NO, because you know how ya girl do… So, I destroyed my core/abs workout and OMGGGGGZ I felt so amazing afterward!! It was seriously like the whole vibe of the day just instantly changed.

And today was Woo Commerce’s 10 years old birthday, so they were doing 50% off sale FIFTY PERCENT!! on all their softwares!!! So, I went on a massive shopping spree and got TONS of awesome apps and extensions for Planet Jenna shoppe, which is gonna be UN-F’N-REAL. Holy ishballs…

Speaking of, I started working on a super sexy new ribbed halter top this evening & also FINALLY got to work on the Banana Thief bikini, which I’ve been DYING to get started on!! It’s been in my head for a while & it’s turning out even tastier than I imagined! I love when that happens! So, I’m thinkkkkinnnn’ I should be finished with it by like Thursday & then doing the photoshoot next week!! OMG so excited!!

So much fun stuff going on & this is just the beginning!!

Saturday, July 14.2018

2:35am - I’ve been getting MAD Planet Jenna downloads today, holy fuck me… Concepts, designs, codes, angles… Black fishnet and tiger’s eye against sun-drenched skin; hints of salt lingering on the tongue with milky coconut.

*licks lips.. shifts weight*

I start to purr but a noise outside the window distracts me. I perk up and peer out into the blackness. Opossum. I sit back and a little sigh escapes me. I’ve had the urge to roam, these past few nights. To wander the neighborhood, stand in the shadows at the edge of my property and scope out my house the way I imagine some of those boys do… Maybe finally have a face-to-face encounter with the Banshee.

Or drive down deserted highways with the moonroof open, the cool night air playing happily with the sun-streaked waves cascading down over my tank top.

The traffic lights just stay green at this hour…

*Supplemental Download: Impromptu grapefruit fast*