Monday, November 26.2018

  Music:   Monster in Me – Orgy (on Talk Sick, 2015)
  Mood:   Jenna vs. the 80's Horror Film

10:37pm -
ZOMG site is looking SO FIREAF!! You guys are gonna flip. I love coding, but… Actually, no… That’s not true. I love web DESIGN. Web coding is… You know that scene in Poltergeist where the guy is eating a chicken leg and then starts digging all the flesh off his face?

Web design comes naturally to me because it’s like art; you know, playing around with graphics and putting them together with the texts and piccies in Photoshop… But getting those graphics to go together on an actual webpage and look good on all devices is… You know that scene in Poltergeist 2 where the dad vomits up a demonic tequila worm?

I mean, I love figuring out how to do it and being able to say that I built my site all by myself, but GOD… I am soooooo excited to just take my clothes off and take pictures. XD

Monday, October 29.2018

  Music:   Adrenalize – In This Moment (on Blood, 2012)
  Mood:   Jenna vs. the Hot Fudge Sundae

2:12am -
“It’s getting Jenna to sit down and focus, that’s the challenging part…”

Sometimes I imagine that my psychosis has grown so intense that all of this – gestures broadly at everything – is a total delusion. That – as I’m going about my daily activities in my perceived reality - I’m actually just a raving mad kitten, perched in the corner of a padded room, my posture affording a glimpse of my panties beneath the oversized long-sleeved tee slipping down around my shoulders with those trademark tangled locks of shimmery, multi-hued blonde hair.

Doctors observing from afar because no one really likes to discuss the… incident… that occurred the last time one of them got too close, and – I mean – they don’t actively acknowledge that as the cause of their distance, but it’s… an unspoken understanding.

“She’s an intoxicating fantasy but a devastating reality…” One of them scribbles in the margin of their notebook.

Hannibal Lector, Randle McMurphy, Harley Quinn, Lisa Rowe… I keep sexy company.

*eyes flash… whiskers twitch*

So, I’m unofficially announcing an official launch date of January 01st.

This is completely tentative and totally subject to change, but I am going to strive for this with the fury of a thousand burning suns because I am IN LOVE with the idea of launching everything when my baby boo, Sirial, is at his zenith in the night sky.

Also, it would make things sooooo much easier from a corporate perspective, accounting and such, because my fiscal year runs from January through December. So, it works on a variety of levels.

*slides tongue to the roof of my mouth… makes little clicking noise*

I just randomly woke up at like 5:23am the other morning with something whispering that idea into my ear. “You know, January 01st would be a good day,” It said casually, twisting a lock of my aforementioned shimmery hair around its finger. “What with Sirial being directly overhead and all…”

At the time, I simply rolled over, slid a long, tanned leg from underneath the sheets, mumbled an incoherent jumble of what we’re all agreeing to transcribe as, “Mmmhmmm, pogo stick turtle chalkboard candy cane” and passed back out. It wasn’t until later in the day that I was struck with that sudden recollection of dreamtime consciousness that the idea elicited a far more enthusiastic response, alongside clenched muscles and moistened lips.

And, I mean, I’m starting to feel as though I NEED something of this nature; a little wooden cutout rabbit with a target painted in the middle, racing across the track in front of me, to force my finger back against the trigger, you know? Because I could totally foresee the perfectionist in me adding day after day to its body count for the next year. “I’m so close…” Whimpered breathlessly, “I’m almost there…”

“Do you have any perfectionist in you? …Want some?” I purr, giggling mischievously at the young doctor jotting down notes on his clipboard.

He chuckles despite himself and looks up at me over his glasses. I slide gracefully off my perch on the edge of the cool steel table and slink towards him on my hands and knees. He clears his throat and nervously looks away.

Because, I mean… I have so many ideas for Planet Jenna, I’m already 3 years down the road with everything and planning my eventual buy-out of Amazon. But, speaking of my corporate role model, you have to lay your foundations before you can start building your empire skyward. Your fiery little kitten’s foundations just have a few less books and a few more scantily-clad pictorials. There will be plenty of stories and writings, too, though... And I know all you boys just come here to read the articles, anyway.

Sunday, October 14.2018

  Music:   Sanctified – Nine Inch Nails (on Pretty Hate Machine, 1989)
  Mood:   Jenna vs. the God Complex

4:32am -
I'm still not 100% sure what I’m doing… I think, a tangled lock of sun-streaked blonde hair falling into my face as I tug at the black fishnet. I mean… I’m sure it will turn out sexy, but… I purse my bubblegum pink lips into a pout and furrow my brow, sliding forward onto the chair and spreading my legs a bit. My muscles tense and I stretch, massaging some of the tightness out of my shoulders.

"Black fishnet and tiger’s eye against sun-drenched skin; hints of salt lingering on the tongue with milky coconut."

I stare at the deconstructed snarl of knotted thread, wondering if I’ll ever actually turn my fleeting, perfect vision into reality. I feel like similar thoughts probably danced about in the uncertainty of divine stellar chaos during the creation of the universe…

“God Complex, huh? You’re gonna make one sexy cult leader, Crazy Cakes.”

I shift my gaze from a shimmering pile of vibrantly-colored fire glass.

Your grill is engulfing your whole head there, Stick Man. *rolls eyes* Besides, that’s a Messiah Complex. Cult leaders wanna be worshipped… I just wanna create. *snaps fingers* Let them build their pantheon of idols; I have alchemy to perform.

*whiskers twitch… slinks into kitchen to make a coffee*

Coffee - Jenna-Style:
(Not to be confused with Rodeo Sex: your dick should not burst forth from your pants at any point during this process)

  16oz. Spanish Roast Coffee
  2tbsp Dark Amber Honey
  2tbsp Raspberry Syrup
  Splash of Almond Milk
  4oz. Almond Cream

All Organic. Vegan. Standard. *licks cream from paw*

I pad back into my bedroom and sit down on the floor, sliding a chest full of baubles and gemstones in between my legs. I open the creaky lid and peer inside, my eyes dancing across a glimmering array of foreign treasure.

"They’re gonna worship you anyway, you know."

"...I know." I murmur distractedly, a small bronze crescent Yesod unleashing a torrent of black-netted inspiration.

And it was there, amidst blood red garnet chips bathed in the milky glow of moonlight, palm fronds picking up in a quickening wind thick with sea air and exotic perfumes, that I realized… I’d never heard THAT voice before.

Monday, October 08.2018

  Music:   Zombie Eaters – Faith No More (on The Real Thing, 1989)
  Mood:   Surf Kitten

12:49am -
Feel like this should be in an ad in Surfer magazine...

“Jenna only dates boys who wear Rip Curl”

Tuesday, October 02.2018

  Music:   Spells – Orgy (on Talk Sick, 2015)
  Mood:   Feral little wildcat

8:58pm -
I have a set of 3 jeweled navel rings, a wolf’s tail, and a camera lens being delivered tomorrow. These are the moments when I get these little flashes of well, Jenna, you must be doing something right…

Faux fur wolf’s tail, standard. *snaps fingers*

And actual navel RINGS, not barbells! How 1996 is that?? So f’n pumped I actually found a place that sells them! I think they’re predominantly for like, eyebrows or noses or some sort of facial accoutrement, but this renegade kitten is going to slip that cool stainless steel through her belly button, click the little jewel-encrusted metal orb into place, and run around listening to Spice Girls. *nods. licks paw*

Speaking of the 90’s, that band Orgy put out a new album a few years ago that I literally just found out about like last week, and holy fuck me… It is ruling my life.

  Orgy – Talk Sick  

I don’t think it’s all the original members, and it’s like a total sellout club album that kinda reminds me of Ghost Town, so I can see why people didn’t like it (I guess it got a lot of bad reviews). But OMF it is so fun and hot and I love it so hard.

One of the lyrics on Come Back is “Bitch, lay your head down; shut up and relax a while…”


I need a sexy boy to say that to me while he pushes me down onto the bed, corporate ledgers, shoppe receipts, and several swatches of neon-colored vinyl spilling all over the floor, and then pleasures me from head to toe.

*eyes twinkle mischievously at the thought… licks corner of lip and catches tongue between canines*

It’s just that… Your intrepid little kitten works herself so hard… *tenses.. cracks neck… digs claws into the ground* I mean, I WOULD put up a fight at being forced into submission, but… The right boy would know how to handle that.

So. YouFit is literally everything. OMG I’m so f’n excited!! I went in and made my membership on Sunday and I did my first workout yesterday afternoon - AFTER raging like a feral little wildcat on the trails all morning and flying off my bike BACKWARDS on a steep incline… The dirt was all torn up in one particular spot halfway up the hill and I hit it HARD, so my front tire came to an abrupt, unexpected stop; however, your fearless gear kitten DID NOT stop, rather the scientific principles of the universe saw fit to jettison her tight little bottom from the seat (in what I can only assume was the most graceful of manners) while she was still firmly gripping the handlebars…

But I will say: I noticed a few of the boys at the gym staring at me while I was on the Leg Press machine, so I’m thinking maybe my shorts were a bit too short…

“Rethinking that Planet Fitness dress code, Crazy Cakes?”




…Your glasses are stuck in reverse there, Stick Man. *rolls eyes*

So, just in case, I ordered a bunch of sexy… they’re not really yoga pants; I refuse to wear those due to the influx of soccer moms who wear them to shop, pick up pizzas, and drink white wine, but never actually WORK OUT in them… But the ones I ordered aren’t really sweat pants, either. They’re more form-fitting than that… They’re like tight, sexy hip-hugger sweat pants, I guess you would call them.

So, I’m thinkkkkinnnng… sexy black hip huggers, matching sports bra… bicep curls with the 45’s, muscles taut, lock of hair falling down around tanned, freckled shoulders... little grunts escaping my glossy, bubblegum pink lips with each successive rep…

*eyes flash… flicks tail*

So, tomorrow is a day full of Planet Jenna corporate mischief; meetings, errands, deposits, and then I have an appointment with one of the personal trainers at the gym later in the evening. I’m gonna try not to work him TOO hard… 😉

Tonight is: organic coffees with honey, raspberry syrups, and almond cream *whiskers twitch* and, also, I decided to do the fishnet bikinis in white and crimson in addition to black, so I’m gonna start on those!

OH! And I’ll be posting more preview piccies later this week, because I know you boys are getting antsy. I LOOOOOVEEE YOOOUSSS ALL OVER YOUR FACES!!!

*waits for the one who’s gonna reply “I wanna love you all over YOUR face, Jenna…”*